


Sneak myself into your pocket

by forgothowigothere



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Harry is in a band with Niall, Louis is an actor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-01
Updated: 2013-12-01
Packaged: 2018-01-03 02:22:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1064598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forgothowigothere/pseuds/forgothowigothere
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>-I’m going to propose.<br/>After that, everything happens at once. Louis starts coughing and splutters all over the other lad, while at the same time he hears keys fiddling with the lock. The door opens and Harry rushes inside, his breath uneven like he has been running. He stands there looking at them with a questioning look.<br/>-What the hell happened here? Lou, are you ok?</p>
<p>au where Harry's boyfriend intends to propose, but of course Louis can't let that happen</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sneak myself into your pocket

Neither of them knows how long they have been staring into each other’s eyes. He feels like he is under a spell, like he can’t look away even if he tried to. The square is full of people and one or two passers-by had bumped into him, but he couldn’t care less. Because at this moment nothing else matters, nothing except her. Her green, gorgeous eyes are glistening and her lips are slightly parted, they look so inviting and he knows that it won’t take much time before he gives up and closes the distance between their lips. He slowly starts leaning towards her with his eyes already closed and then…  
  
-Cut!  
  
Louis waits a second before he slowly opens his eyes and turns to the director, trying really hard to hide his annoyance. His irritating voice had been bugging him all day and this guy’s snarky remarks towards him and his co-star drive him mad. But he never said anything, during the last year he had found out that you had to swallow your pride to succeed in this business. It’s not like him to not fight back, he always stands up for himself. However, if he has to make some sacrifices to achieve his dream, then so be it.  
  
-We’re done for today. Good job everyone! Louis, you and Rose should work on your chemistry, you both come off as stiff and uncomfortable on camera.  
  
Louis sighs and this time he isn’t able to suppress an eye-roll; this guy is unbelievable! Insults never get to him though, especially the ones from people he doesn’t respect.  
  
While he’s getting ready to head home, he feels eyes boring into him. Apparently Rose hasn’t left either, she is now standing behind him with a flirty smile and her arms crossed on her chest. Louis knows what’s about to come, he has been dreading this moment all day. He decides to act nonchalant, even though he knows that it will probably infuriate her.  
  
-So, Lou, Josh thinks that we lack of chemistry… I disagree, our chemistry was fine two days before.  
  
The nickname rolls so easily off her tongue that it makes Louis flinch a little. Yeah, they slept together a few nights ago, but that doesn’t give her the right to call him that. He had thought that he made it clear that it was just a one-night stand, but apparently Rose didn’t get the hint. He hates it when he has to explain himself.  
  
\- Maybe we should practice tonight. You can come at my house…  
  
She winks at him and raises her eyebrows suggestively. Under other circumstances Louis would consider her offer, but now he just wants to return to his flat. He is in a shitty mood and only one person always manages to make him feel better. And that person certainly isn’t the blond girl standing in front of him.  
  
  
\- Sorry babe, I’m really tired. Maybe some other time?  
  
She doesn’t even try to hide her disappointment, her expression changes drastically as soon as he finishes talking. Before she can answer, Louis has already started walking to the door; he wants to go home as soon as possible. He mutters a quiet goodbye and exits the room hastily.  
  
One year has passed since his acting career took off and by now Louis is used to people throwing themselves at him. He never minds the attention, he likes having fun and hooking up with different people every night. But he knows that at the end of the day he always comes back home. That knowledge makes him feel more safe and secure.  
  
When he enters his flat, he notices all lights are off. His thoughts fill with worry immediately.  
  
-Harry?  
  
They had been living together for almost a year and a half now and Louis still hasn’t managed to banish the unreasonable fear that some day Harry will decide that he doesn’t need him anymore and will disappear from his life completely, like so many people before him. He wasn’t always like that, so suspicious of people, but he has been disappointed so many times in the past, that now he keeps himself guarded and hidden behind thick walls. Harry is one of the few people he has let in, one of the most important people in his life, among with his family and one or two other friends. His best friend, his flatmate and probably his love, even though he doesn’t want to admit that even to himself.  
  
-In my room!  
  
And if Louis lets out a relieved sigh, no one has to know. He is being foolish, but he really can’t imagine his life without the other boy.  
  
They moved in together when they were both fresh out of uni, broke and without knowing what to do with their lives. Louis was an aspiring actor at this point, going to casting after casting, wishing for his career to set off, while Harry… well, Harry was doing what he continues doing, performing with his Indie band at small gigs with an audience of approximately ten people. Louis is always there though, because singing makes the younger lad happy and that’s enough for Louis. And while Louis has enough money now to buy a bigger flat in a nicer neighborhood, the thought never crossed his mind. He enjoys the situation as it is, he wants to change nothing. Well almost nothing.  
  
-Tell me you brought food!  
  
Harry’s broad frame appears at the doorframe. It’s obvious that he had been sleeping, his hair is messier than usual and his big green eyes puffy and red. Still beautiful though, even in his sweatpants and that huge grey grandpa sweater. Louis opens his mouth to make a sarcastic comment about the awful sweater, but he decides against it when he sees Harry grinning at him.  
  
-You didn’t forget it! Oh god I’m starving.  
  
Of course he didn’t forget it. Even though he pretends to be bored of Harry’s long and often meaningless stories, he always listens to him, always encourages him to speak to him.  
  
They eat in silence for a while, the younger boy focused on the plate before him; it‘s adorable.  
  
-So how was your day, Lou? Is Josh still a twat?  
  
Louis nods frantically.  
  
-He’s an ass. I’m pretty sure that he made his assistant cry at some point.  
  
It isn’t even an exaggeration, the poor girl had looked terrified when her boss started yelling at her in a room full of people. No one interjected though and Louis had stayed quiet watching that awful guy embarrassing the girl. He still feels a bit guilty for his idleness, but he tries not to think about it, as many other things in his life.  
  
Before Harry could ask him about his co-star, a subject that Louis really doesn’t want to talk about with him of all people, he blurts out a question he would never ask under normal circumstances.  
  
-When is Oliver coming? I know you told me this morning, but let’s be real, I never pay attention at your mumblings this early in the morning…  
  
-In two days, Lou, I’ve told you a million times…  
  
He shoots him a disapproving look and stands up straightening his shirt. Louis sits in his place quiet, watching Harry move to the sink to wash the dishes. His shirt is drawn tight against the muscles of his back and his pants are slung low on his hips. Louis wants so much to touch, to feel, but he is well aware that he can’t. For now at least.  
  
Because Harry is in a serious relationship, even if it’s a long distance one, and he seems pretty satisfied with it. They have been together for almost a year, in fact they are going to celebrate their one- year anniversary next week. Oliver is obviously head over heels about his boyfriend and Harry… Louis doesn’t want to think about it.  
  
In romantic novels or movies the main character always tries to accept his love- interest’s relationship, because he would give anything to see his loved one happy.  
  
But life is neither a novel nor a movie and Louis actually hates Oliver. He’s not a bad person or anything and he’s kinda good- looking (if you’re into tall, blond guys with tiny eyes and huge nostrils), but every time Louis sees him kissing, cuddling or even touching Harry, he has to hold the strong urge to punch him. And he doesn’t even try to hide his dislike, Harry knows that his flat mate hates his boyfriend’s guts and that’s why Oliver’s name is rarely brought up in this flat.  
  
So Louis averts his gaze from the other lad’s shoulders and back not wanting to freak him out.  
  
The thing is that when they had first met Harry had a huge crush on him, but Louis had chosen to ignore it in a desperate attempt to save their friendship. He thought that he was straight and these weird feelings towards the curly- haired lad would go away. But as the time passed Louis found himself thinking more and more about the boy to the point that he couldn’t focus on anything else. And when he decided to make his move and admit his feelings, Harry had already moved on. Louis will never forget the day Harry introduced his new boyfriend to Louis and their other friends. It was the day of Niall’s birthday and the younger lad had brought Oliver as his plus one, much to Louis surprise and disappointment. He spent that whole night drinking and sulking, annoying all his friends. At the end of the night their other friend Zayn had found him sitting on the bathroom floor and staring at the wall in front of him. They never talked about that incident again, but Louis often finds the black- haired lad staring at him pitifully whenever Oliver is around. He would tell him to stop, but he really doesn’t want to acknowledge that night.  
So he waits patiently, even thought he doesn’t know for what…

\---  
When Oliver arrives, Harry is at work. Even thought he continues performing with his band (which consists of him, Niall and Don, a guy almost always stoned who barely speaks), three months ago he started working at a bakery hoping for extra cash. Louis always offers to pay for him, but his friend never accepts his offer. Like Louis, Harry is stubborn and annoyingly proud. But Louis doesn’t give up so easily and he always tries to sneakily pay for the groceries or whatever else their household needs to function properly.  
  
Louis is lying on the couch with a cup of tea in his hands when the sound of the doorbell breaks the silence. For a moment the thought of not opening the door and leaving Oliver there waiting for Harry to come home, crosses his mind, but he shakes it off quickly. Harry wouldn’t like that.  
  
The bell rings again and Louis curses through his teeth. What is this guy’s problem?  
  
He grumpily drags his feet to the door and opens it slowly embracing himself for the terrifying encounter.  
  
Oliver is standing in front of him with a huge toothy grin plastered on his face and a dirty backpack resting on his feet. He looks exactly the same, like he did the day he met him, but now he’s wearing huge hipster glasses. Louis has to restrain himself from hitting him.  
  
-Louis! How have you been? It’s been a while, mate.  
  
This guy is challenging his luck. There’s no way he hasn’t notice Louis’ aversion towards him, so why is he always trying to start a conversation with him like they are old pals?  
  
He moves unwillingly to the side gesturing Oliver to come inside, suppressing the sudden urge to slam the door in his face. The taller guy quickly moves inside, like he’s afraid that Louis is going to regret his sudden kindness. Maybe he isn’t so dense after all. When the door is shut and Oliver has placed his backpack on the floor, they stand in silence not knowing what to say. Louis can actually feel the awkward.  
  
He decides to be a good host and invites the other guy to the kitchen so he can offer him some tea. His kindness is surprising even himself sometimes.  
  
Unfortunately, Oliver doesn’t repay his kindness with his silence.  
  
-So mine and Harry’s anniversary is in a few days…  
  
Louis keeps his mouth shut hoping that his unwillingness to talk will discourage the blonde guy as well. Talking about Oliver and Harry’s celebration of being together for a year isn’t his ideal way of spending the morning.  
  
-You think that we could have the house for ourselves that night? I have a surprise prepared for him and I would really appreciate some privacy… Louis, are you listening to me?  
  
-Yeah, of course, his voice cracks and he coughs to cover it up.  
  
He takes a sip of his tea holding the cup with both his hands while silently begging Oliver to stop talking. This guy is actually kicking him out of his own flat.  
  
-Oh I thought I lost you for a second… As I was saying, I have a big surprise for my boy.  
  
Louis flinches and he feels his chest tighten at these words. He takes another sip, so that he doesn’t have to say anything.  
  
-I’m going to propose.  
  
After that, everything happens at once. Louis starts coughing and splutters all over the other lad, while at the same time he hears keys fiddling with the lock. The door opens and Harry rushes inside, his breath uneven like he has been running. He stands there looking at them with a questioning look.  
  
-What the hell happened here? Lou, are you ok?  
  
He nods just to reassure Harry, but keeps quiet not trusting his voice. He’s still in shock and wants nothing more than to crawl into his bed and stay inside his room the whole day. And after that, he’s going to kill Oliver.  
  
-You haven’t seen me for two weeks and the first thing you say is about Louis? Maybe I should start worrying after all…  
  
He is probably joking, but the harsh look in his eyes and the fact that his knuckles holding the cup have turned white imply otherwise, that maybe Harry’s words have hurt him. Louis considers that as a small victory. (the whole situation has turned him into a cold-hearted inconsiderable asshole, but this is the last of his problems)  
  
-Sorry love, he just looks so pale…  
  
A silence falls over the three of them and Louis feels Oliver’s eyes burning holes on him. Harry is looking at him, too, trying to silently communicate with him through their eyes. He wants Louis to leave him alone with his boyfriend and this hurts more than it probably should. Louis wants to scream at the top of his lungs, maybe then his friend will realise what he does to him. No one can be that oblivious.  
  
But he can’t do that. Instead, he stands up pushing his chair loudly and shoots a charming smile at the recently reunited couple.  
  
-I’m just gonna go to my room, you two lovebirds need your privacy.  
  
Before he turns his back at them, he notices Harry’s expression, a mixture of concern, suspicion and something else, completely different. He can’t put a finger on it though, so he brushes it off.

\---

-I’m not going to sit here and wait doing nothing, while this asshole intends to propose.  
  
He has been thinking about it all day and he has come to the conclusion that he just can’t let it happen. He can’t let Harry marry this guy with the awful hair, he can’t stand the thought of him moving in with Oliver and leaving Louis alone in his cold flat and he certainly can’t imagine how his life is gonna be without seeing his best friend’s face and hearing his lovely voice first thing in the morning. Maybe it’s a bit selfish and immature, but this is what his life has come to be and maybe he doesn’t care anymore. He’s decided to risk it and do what he’s been postponing ever since he discovered his feelings. He’s going to confess his feelings and after that, Harry can make his own choice.  
  
-And what are you going to do, mate? Kidnap Harry and lock him in the basement until he admits his undying love for you?  
  
Louis looks at his friend with his eyes narrowed and his lips turned into a thin line.  
  
-You’re not helping, Zayn.  
  
The other lad pays no mind at him though and Louis watches his movements closely as he puts his cigarette between his lips and inhales with a look of pleasure brightening his face.  
  
-I say go for it, Lou. Take him on a date, make him see you. You’ve got nothing to lose.  
  
Only his dignity, Louis thinks, but he doesn’t say it out loud. He is willing to risk it.  
  
-Give me that, he says gesturing at the cigarette.  
  
He never understood the thrill, but at this moment he craves for something to ease his mind. He takes a long drag holding his breath and coughs, his eyes watering a little. He doesn’t feel embarrassed, it’s not his fault that this thing leaves an awful taste on his tongue. Zayn looks at him extremely amused and more smoke blows from Louis’ mouth as he starts laughing.  
  
-You have five days to make your move before their anniversary. Use them wisely.  
  
He wants to laugh at his friend’s serious tone, but he restrains himself. Zayn is right, even though he sounds like his grandma. The Bradford lad always gives the best advice, even tough no one listens.  
  
-I’ll do my best not to disappoint you, mum.  
  
And when the pillow is shoved in his face with full force, he has been expecting it.

\---  
Firstly, he has to make Harry see him that way again, you know, the romantic way. It shouldn’t be that hard, Louis is a very sexual person after all and he’s used to making people of every age and genre want him. The curly- haired shit should be no exception.  
  
Oliver makes his task a little bit more difficult though, since he has been following Harry around like a lost puppy since the moment he arrived. Maybe in the end, he’ll have to lock him in the basement.  
  
They all decide to go out for the night to celebrate Oliver’s arrival and Louis agrees eagerly, even if it’s the last thing he wants to celebrate for. A club is the right place to use his skills to seduce Harry, maybe he can sweep him off his feet with his astounding dance moves (even though Harry has seen him dancing multiple times) or he can get him drunk and then drag him to the bathroom and then… He stops himself right there, before his mind starts wondering through dangerous paths. There’s no time for distractions.  
  
He wears his tightest black jeans and the tank top that Harry bought him for his birthday last year to remind him how much fun they had together before Oliver came to the picture. Satisfied with the outcome he emerges out of his room to find Harry and Him waiting at the living room. He doesn’t pay much attention to the blonde lad, instead his eyes land immediately on his flat mate. They wander up and down his body taking in his appearance. Harry never cared much for his style, he always wears whatever he finds first in his closet. Louis teases him for that fondly, just because he loves seeing Harry flustered and not because he doesn’t like his style. (he really doesn’t care about what Harry is wearing, he could wear a sack and Louis would still be enamored with him) However, today the Cheshire boy has clearly paid special attention to his appearance; tight jeans and a black top that shows off his collarbones and makes Louis’ insides melt.  
  
Someone clears his throat and Louis’ head shoots up when he realises he has been checking Harry out blatantly. With his cheeks a light shade of red, he takes in the other boys’ expressions. Harry is staring at him curiously, his eyes shinning and his lips unnaturally pink, while Oliver is sending him death glares, as if he wants to dissipate him from the face of the earth.  
  
-What are we waiting for? Let’s go! he blurts out even though he still feels slightly embarrassed.  
  
Harry immediately complies picking up his keys and his phone from the coffee table and shoving them into his pockets.  
  
When they’re out of the flat Louis lets out a breath he hadn’t realised he was holding. It is going to be a long night.

\---  
Louis has been sitting at their table for about an hour with Zayn on his right side and Liam, one of Harry’s best friends on his left. He has already finished his drink (which name he doesn’t even know, Niall shoved it in front of his face when he arrived) and now he’s in great need of another one. He has been watching the ‘happy’ couple giggling and getting closer and closer at the opposite side of the table without even blinking and right now he wants to rip his hair off. Harry has been begging Oliver to dance with him for a while but the other guy keeps rejecting his pleads. Well, it’s his loss.  
  
Louis turns to Zayn with a determined expression that’s making his features look harsh.  
  
-I’m going for it!  
  
His friend looks puzzled; he is clearly smashed and can’t remember their discussion from the previous day. Louis looks at him unimpressed.  
  
-When all of this is over, I’m gonna hunt you down and kill you. Now move your ass out of the way, I’m going to get my man.  
  
Maybe that’s a little harsh, but he’s annoyed with his friend who gives him ideas and doesn’t help him go through with them.  
  
He moves around the table in a hurry (he accidentally shakes the table on his way and causes Liam’s drink to slop) and stops right in front of his best friend who is currently arguing with his boyfriend.  
  
-Wanna dance?  
  
He hides his anxiety behind an easygoing and chill smile, but deep inside he’s a huge mess. What if he gets rejected or Oliver gets fed up with his shenanigans and demands an explanation for his behavior?  
  
Harry looks at him pleasantly surprised and opens his mouth to talk, but Oliver beats him to it.  
  
-Maybe another time Tomlinson, ok? You see him everyday, I haven’t seen him in a while…  
  
But Louis isn’t ready to give up just yet.  
  
-I think…  
  
-I wanna dance with Louis, Harry cuts him mid sentence. We can catch up later, Oli.  
  
And with that he grabs Louis by the wrist and drags him to the dance floor pushing sweaty bodies out of his way. Louis is too shocked to do anything, so he just follows the taller guy in a haze stumbling on his feet. When Harry suddenly stops walking, Louis bumps into him.  
-Sorry I just wanted to get away as soon as possible…  
  
Louis examines closely his friend who is now nervously pulling on the bottom seam of his black T-shirt. He doesn’t look distraught or anything, just a little confused.  
  
-Trouble in paradise?  
  
He doesn’t mean to sound satisfied, but it probably comes off exactly that way. Internally he’s celebrating.  
  
-I don’t know yet. He’s acting weird, you know? Like he’s hiding something…  
  
Oh yeah, Louis definitely knows. Oliver’s secret is all he’s been thinking about lately, what keeps him awake at night and makes him not want to get out of bed in the morning. He doesn’t say any of that; he shrugs and places his hands gently on his companion’s shoulders.  
  
-So are we gonna just stand here? Come on, show me your skills, curly.  
  
That earns him an open-mouthed laugh from the other boy and Louis beams. The operation is going just fine.  
  
-You know I’m awful, I don’t want to embarrass you…  
  
-Don’t worry, everyone will be blinded by my impressive moves. No one is gonna look at you.  
  
He moves closer, probably closer than he should. Harry is looking at him with wide eyes that seem to hold a question in them. Louis takes his hands and places them on his waist. They are so close, he can smell the other boy’s cologne, he could just kiss him if he wanted to. The loud music makes his heart thump loudly.  
  
When they start moving their bodies in sync, he feels his heart hammering loudly against his chest. That’s what he wanted all along. He loses himself in the moment and moves his hand to tug at the other boy’s curls, large hands resting softly on his slim waist.  
  
They continue dancing, feeling the heat spread from one body to the other as they move even closer to each other. But Louis is getting impatient, so he decides to take matters in his own hands. He turns around so that his backside is pressed against Harry’s chest and the taller lad replaces his hands on his waist, but this time, it’s a firm hold. It’s so intimate that he feels heat rising up his neck and starts swaying his hips. He continues dancing along with Harry and leans his head to rest it on the other boy’s shoulder, while Harry’s head hangs low. He puts his hands on top of Harry’s, even lower on his hips now and feels the other lad’s breathing getting harder and his grip on him tighter.  
  
He starts planning his next move, when he feels Harry’s lips kissing lightly his neck and his mind goes blank. The taller boy stills behind him and before Louis can even blink, he removes his hands from his hips and takes not only one, but several steps away from him. The moment is gone and the younger boy looks terrified.  
  
-I’m so sorry, I don’t know what came to me, I…  
  
-It’s ok, Louis tries to calm him down. No need to panic, you got carried away. I don’t mind, it was rather…nice.  
  
-What?  
  
Harry is startled, but for a moment he looks content; his lips are curved slightly in a smile. It’s so beautiful really that Louis can’t help but take a step towards him smiling brightly. The other boy’s fringe is messy and sweaty and he just wants to run his hands through the dark curls… He takes another step forward, but suddenly he can’t move anymore, cause somebody has a death grip on his arm.  
  
-What the…  
  
He turns around annoyed, ready for a fight, to come face to face with none other than Rose, his former co-star. He curses his luck, is it really now the right time for her to reappear in his life?  
  
-Lou, I haven’t seen you in days! Why didn’t you call? I missed you!  
  
Louis makes a vague gesture with his hands and rudely turns his back at her to look for the person that matters to him. Harry is nowhere to be seen.  
  
-Damn it, he hisses and the blonde girl sends him a questioning look.  
  
How can he tell her kindly that he has no time for her at this moment?  
  
-I need to go. Sorry, we’ll catch up later!  
  
-Wait! She grabs his wrist, her nails digging in his skin. You forgot this at my house the other night…  
  
Louis is just now noticing that she’s holding something, something that belongs to him. It’s his blue tie, the one his sisters bought for him last Christmas. He thought that he had lost it and he had prepared mentally himself for his sisters’ complains.  
  
-Thank you, Rose. Now if you’ll excuse me, I really have to go.  
  
He doesn’t wait for her response and storms to the table where the rest of his friends are sitting. He doesn’t know what he’s going to do, what he’s going to tell to Harry, he just wants to find him. But when he reaches to the table, Harry is not there and neither is Oliver.  
  
-They left...  
  
Niall notices his confusion and continues with his explanation.  
  
-Harry said that he wasn’t feeling well and Oli was waiting for an excuse to leave, so they called it a night. They probably wanted some time alone, if you know what I mean…  
  
Niall is wiggling his eyebrows with a huge dirty grin on his face, when Zayn smacks the back of his head forcefully.  
  
-Shut up, bro. What the hell?  
  
He turns to Louis, while their blonde friend is rubbing the back of his head with an annoyed expression. He always ends up as the punching bag.  
  
-He seemed really upset, he wanted to return home alone, but Oliver insisted…  
  
Louis nods, but his head is spinning. Harry probably feels guilty about the kiss, he must be so confused. Maybe he’ll tell everything to his boyfriend and they’ll both agree not to speak to Louis again. He shakes that thought out of his mind, Harry would never do that to him…  
  
The rest of the night feels like hell to Louis, he can’t stop thinking about the soft lips on his neck and the terrified expression of his best friend after he realised what he’d done. He dances for a while with his friends, but when they get approached by a group of girls, he just can’t do it anymore. He grabs his coat and heads home, roaming in empty streets with pour lighting.  
  
As he opens the door of their shared flat, his heart pulses with fear. He’s not ready to face the green eyed boy just yet.  
  
However, his fear is proved unreasonable; all the lights are off and his friend’s door is closed.  
  
He doesn’t understand why, but a feeling of disappointment is creeping inside him

\---  
He has already spent an hour staring at the ceiling, while lying on his bed. When he woke up (he actually hardly slept, he kept playing the moment he and Harry shared at the club over and over again in his mind), he tried to sneak out of the house to avoid an awkward encounter with his flatmate, but it proved to be impossible. Harry and Oliver had already woken up, and were eating their breakfast at the kitchen table. So Louis decided to wait until they leave the flat. He just prayed that they wouldn’t decide to spend the whole day inside.  
  
  
But now he is getting impatient and he feels the muscles of his legs beginning to throb with inactivity. Maybe he should fuck it and risk his chances…  
  
As he enters the room, he realises immediately that the couple is bickering over something. When he notices him standing at the doorframe, Oliver stops talking abruptly, while Harry… Harry doesn’t even look at him. He sits in his place with his head lowered, suddenly paying extra attention to the plate in front of him. Louis’ heart sinks a little and he contemplates returning to his bed and his state of self-pity.  
  
-Good morning, Lou!  
  
Oliver’s cheerful greeting doesn’t trick Louis, it’s clear that the blond guy is troubled with something. On the other hand, it reinforces his theory that Harry hasn’t mentioned the kiss incident to him. Louis doesn’t know if he should be relieved or not. But when he takes in his flatmate’s blank expression, he knows that things aren’t going well with his plan to win him over.  
  
Oliver glances between them, probably wondering what the hell happened, since they were just fine the previous day. Louis gives him a halfhearted smile, so he won’t start getting suspicious and heads to the fridge. However, Harry doesn’t try at all.  
  
-I’m gonna take a bath, he states as he pushes his breakfast away from him. Oliver can you do the dishes?  
  
He leaves the room without even a glance at Louis’ direction, which startles both Louis and Oliver. Because even though they have their disagreements, Louis and Harry rarely fight. They just can never stay mad at each other for more than a couple hours. Louis surely hopes this is the case now as well and that he hasn’t ruined their precious to him friendship. Now that he thinks about it though, he really didn’t do anything wrong, except from asking Harry to dance with him. The other boy is the one that initiated everything, pushed the limits of their friendship, kissed him and then proceeded to abandon him in the middle of the dance floor with his nightmare of a co- star.  
  
As all these thoughts flash through his mind he decides to give the boy some time and space to think clearly, since he’s obviously confused. He has waited almost a year, he can be patient for a couple more days.

\---  
Louis is currently pacing in his room, filled with frustration and a bit of anger. He is seriously considering banging his head against the wall or else he’s gonna slap somebody. Probably Harry who has been avoiding him like the plague; it’s devastating. For two whole days he hasn’t spared him a single look, a single word, in fact every time Louis enters the room the younger lad leaves immediately as if he’s afraid of him or something. When Louis accidentally touched his hand, Harry flinched like he was in pain and moved a meter away from him. And as if all these aren’t enough, the day of the anniversary is coming closer and closer.  
  
This morning Oliver approached Louis and begged him to keep Harry occupied for the whole day because he wants to work on his surprise. On his plan to propose to Harry the next day, the day of their anniversary.  
  
Louis really doubts that he can do that, considering how things are between them at this point. Maybe if he locked Harry in his room…  
  
His train of thoughts is suddenly interrupted by a quiet and unexpected knock on his door.  
  
-Louis, can I come in, please?  
  
The sound of Harry’s voice makes him draw in a sharp breath. He quickly sits on his bed grabbing his phone and trying pathetically to act nonchalant.  
  
-Yeah, of course, he really hopes he doesn’t sound so eager and excited.  
  
Harry looks horrible (not that Louis looks better), like he hasn’t slept properly the past days and definitely not like someone who has recently reconciled with his beloved boyfriend. It makes his heart ache, Harry should always be happy, he deserves it more than anyone else.  
  
-Do you wanna watch a movie or something? Oliver won’t be here until later tonight…  
  
He seems so small and fragile, of course Louis can’t say no to him, not that he considered it. It’s kinda funny, because a week ago Harry would have stormed into the room and dragged the older boy to the couch, so they could cuddle and watch a sappy romantic movie, one of those that Louis hated before he met Harry.(it’s not funny, it’s sad and it makes him desperate to scream)  
  
Harry wants to watch reruns of Friends and Louis doesn’t object; as long as they actually talk to each other, he could even watch The Notebook for the millionth time with the boy if he asked him to. They don’t sit as close as they used to, but he isn’t complaining; Harry is obviously trying, he even made them tea.  
  
-Remember the last time we watched these with the other lads? Niall spilled his beer all over Liam’s new sweater!  
  
Harry laughs at that, his shoulders shaking and his eyes glistening. Louis missed him so much…  
  
-Yeah and then he promised to buy him a new one and he never did!  
  
They continue grinning for a while, eyes crinkling up a little, looking at each other deep in the eyes. But then Louis makes the mistake to move a little closer to the boy and Harry’s smile fades immediately as he turns his head to face the TV. Way to go Louis…  
It’s impossible to concentrate, so he doesn’t pretend, he doesn’t even try to keep his eyes on the screen. Harry pretends that he’s watching, but Louis knows him so well; it’s clear that he’s struggling. His dark eyebrows are knitted together and it seems like he’s biting the inside of his cheeks. He doesn’t realise that he dozed off, until the younger boy breaks the silence with his raspy voice.  
  
-You are making me uncomfortable with all the staring, Lou.  
  
He mumbles a pathetic apology and tries to hide his blush in a last effort to save his dignity and first of all his friendship, although he notices that Harry is blushing too. He is also restless, he keeps playing with the hem of his shirt and his legs are moving nervously, causing Harry to grab his hand to make him stop. The warmth of his touch spreads through the older lad, even though it lasts only for a second. Of course Harry moves his hand immediately, like he’s been burnt and Louis lets out a breath he hadn’t realised he’s been holding. His hand is tingling where Harry touched it and suddenly for some reason he wants to burst out laughing. Unable to suppress the laughter bubbling up inside him, he lets out a loud laugh startling his flat mate who is currently looking at him like he lost his mind.  
  
-It’s funny, you know… How a week prior we couldn’t last an hour without talking to each other and now you’ve been avoiding me for days…  
  
He didn’t mean for it to come off as aggressive but judging by his friend’s hurtful expression, it definitely did. He doesn’t care though, after he has spent the last few days mopping around desperate to make Harry notice him, he thinks it’s time to clear everything up. There can only be two possible outcomes; either they’re going to discuss the issue and stay friends or he’s gonna lose Harry forever. (There’s one third scenario in which they’ll admit their undying love for each other and live their happily ever after, but Louis doesn’t want to think about it. It’s not the right time to get his hopes up.)  
  
Harry doesn’t answer him, he can’t even look at him. He’s not going to make it easier for Louis.  
  
-We should talk about what happened at the bar, he deadpans.  
  
Harry sucks in a sharp breath as if he didn’t expect these words to come out of Louis’ mouth. He opens and closes his mouth abruptly, but he doesn’t manage to make a single sound. Louis would make a snaky remark, if his brain functioned properly at this instant. He has been thinking about what he’s gonna say all day, but right now his mind has gone blank.  
  
-Please, tell me what you’re thinking curly, he pleads. I can’t do this on my own…  
  
The atmosphere is filled with tension and Louis waits, waits for Harry to just say something, but it never happens. Frustrated he makes a move to stand up, but Harry’s hand finds his bicep and pulls him back down in an uncomfortable sitting position.  
  
The younger lad reaches up to shake his fringe out with his hand, while he’s planning what he’s gonna say.  
  
-I’m really sorry, Lou.  
  
And yeah Louis was expecting anything but that. An apology for what? The kiss or maybe the fact that he’s been avoiding and treating him like dirt?  
  
-You probably think that I’m creepy or something, but I can assure you I didn’t mean for this to happen… I was totally caught in the moment, I didn’t mean to freak you out, it’s…  
  
-Harry, stop.  
  
The other boy obeys instantly and shuts his mouth looking adorably flushed. Louis wants to kiss him so bad, it makes him go crazy.  
  
-What the fuck are you talking about?  
  
Harry looks at him with a puzzled expression, teeth digging at his bottom lip. How can someone be so endearing, yet so frustrating too at the same time?  
  
-Look I know that you’re not into guys and that you’re not into me like that, believe me I know that, but…  
  
-How do you know that?  
  
It’s slowly becoming a habit of his to interrupt Harry mid-sentence, but now his heartbeat is picking speed and he can’t even bother with anything else, because that’s his chance, that’s what he’s wanted for the past year. To be able to talk to Harry about his feelings for him. His feelings that even though he has tried to hide, keep getting stronger and stronger until one day he won’t be able to hold them in and he’s gonna shout them to the world. And that day has come.  
  
-What? Are you serious right now?  
  
Louis shrugs, he wasn’t expecting that reaction. He hasn’t talked about his sexuality with Harry before and he has only been with girls in the past, but he thinks that his obvious dislike towards Oliver should have been enough of a hint for Harry to question things. But of course Harry is, as always, oblivious.  
  
-I kept throwing myself at you for months and even though you knew about my crush on you, hell even Liam knew, you never said a thing! And then Oli came along and I knew I had to get over you… What happened at the club… I don’t know what came over me.  
  
At the boy’s words, Louis’ heart clenches. He doesn’t want to hear him, he knows all these.  
  
-Are you?  
  
Under Harry’s gaze he feels so small, like he’s slowly shrinking. His usual confidence and bright spirit are long gone and he feels defeated as he’s waiting for Harry’s answer.  
  
-Am I what?  
  
-Are you over me? Please don’t lie to me, I need this…  
  
He closes his eyes and holds his breath preparing himself for the inevitable and mentally begging Harry not to break his heart. He’s not good at accepting rejection, and getting rejected by Harry, the most important person in his life at this moment, would probably break him.  
-I’m getting there.  
  
And that’s all that matters. Louis throws himself at the other boy, crashing his lips on Harry’s, his hands tugging at the short curls at the back of the boy’s head. After the fear that Harry might push him away passes, he becomes more daring; he moves even closer to the boy and starts sucking at his bottom lip, teeth scraping. His eyes are closed, but he can feel that the other boy is still tense, so he tugs at his curls a bit harder. That seems to set Harry off, because immediately his hands slide down Louis’ back to rest on his waist and he starts responding to the kiss. And then he opens his mouth and Louis tilts his head, so he can fit his tongue deeper. It’s not cute or slow, it’s passionate and needy, both of them putting all of their frustration in the kiss. Louis feels like he’s going to explode. He moves his hands on Harry’s torso gripping at the soft material of the boy’s shirt. But far too soon for his liking they run out of breath. They part, but missing the lost contact Louis rests his forehead on the other lad’s.  
  
They are both panting, lips swollen and eyes glistening, but when Louis leans in to continue what they’re doing and presses his lips softly against the other boy’s, Harry shakes his head and gently pushes him away. Noticing the shock and hurt flashing through the older boy’s eyes, Harry starts rubbing circles on the inside of Louis palms.  
  
-It’s not that simple, Lou. Oliver loves me, I can’t do this to him the day before our anniversary.  
  
I love you too, Louis wants to say, but the words stay stuck at his throat. Once again in his life he can’t find the courage to talk about his feelings, like he couldn’t five years ago when he ran away from home to chase his dream to become an actor. His parents never understood the thrill, his father even mocked him when he learned that his son participated at the school’s play, he didn’t listen to him and Louis stopped trying to make him understand. One night he left and he never returned to Doncanster. He still speaks often to his mother and sisters on the phone and they occasionally visit him (they all love Harry), but he hasn’t seen his father in years. It’s probably for the best, he’s even more impatient and closed off now, he wouldn’t be able to talk to him for more than a couple of minutes.  
  
He only told Harry this story, two weeks after they moved in together; not even Zayn knows anything about his father. They were lying on the floor of their flat, close to each other, facing the ceiling and pissed drunk. He still doesn’t know what came over him, but he started talking without being able to stop. He ended up crying with Harry’s hand stroking softly his arm. It was actually a nice bonding experience and after that he and his flatmate became inseparable.  
  
-So what? Are we gonna pretend that it didn’t happen? What are you expecting me to do? Sit in the corner and watch you from afar while you and Oliver stay together forever?  
  
His hand is no longer in Harry’s and he’s shouting, his nerves preventing him from controlling the volume of his voice. Harry is looking at him startled with wide eyes chewing nervously on his bottom lip. He tries to reach at him, but Louis shoves his hand away. He is behaving like a stubborn child, he knows it, but for some reason he feels cheated and betrayed. He had hoped that his agony would come to an end when he made a move. He was clearly mistaken.  
  
-I need some time.  
  
But Harry doesn’t really know what he’s asking for. Louis can’t provide him time, it doesn’t depend on him, but his annoying boyfriend. He really is on the verge of telling him everything, but if Harry actually wants to become engaged to Oliver and Louis ruins the surprise, he will never forgive himself for ruining one of the most important events in his friend’s life. But that’s not possible, is it? Harry can’t marry that blonde giant.  
  
-I can’t just choose, Lou.  
  
And that’s the last strike. He doesn’t feel like crying, he rarely cries anymore, but he’s afraid that he’s gonna do something even more stupid if he stays there, like punch a wall or grab Harry by his biceps and shake him hard. The safer option is to leave, so he gets up not sparing another glance at Harry. His friend’s eyes are burning his back, he’s watching his every move, so he certainly can’t miss Louis stumbling through the door. Certainly not the dramatic exit he was hoping for.  
  
-Do whatever you like… I’m gonna be at Zayn’s for the night, he shouts before he exits the room.  
  
It’s not that he’s trying to punish Harry for not wanting him anymore the way he used to, it’s just that he can’t be at the same place as him after their conversation. He’s not ashamed, he’s deeply wounded. He gathers some stuff quickly and emerges out of the house avoiding Harry’s gaze.  
  
Before he closes the door of the flat though, he doesn’t miss Harry’s whisper.  
  
-Louis, please, wait.

\---  
-So that’s how you, mortals, feel when you’re heart- broken.  
  
He hasn’t drunk much, just a couple of shots, but the room is already spinning. He’s lying on the sofa, his feet on Zayn’s lap and his head hanging over the edge of the furniture. Zayn is looking at him incredulously and Louis would laugh, if he wasn’t afraid that he would end up sobbing. His emotions are a fucking hurricane at this point of the night and drinking whatever he finds available doesn’t help at all.  
  
-He just said he wanted some time to think, mate. You’re being a drama queen as always.  
  
Louis groaned, grabbing a pillow and burying his head in it. He wishes he could turn back time in order to prevent himself from being such an idiot back then, when Oliver wasn’t in the picture yet and Harry was still his.  
  
-If he felt about me like I do for him, he wouldn’t need any time, he replies stubbornly pouting a little.  
  
He’s waiting anxiously for his friend’s answer, biting his nails; maybe he can tell him that his fears are irrational, that Harry would never choose Oliver over him, that in any minute the younger boy will rush inside to declare his love. But Zayn takes his time spinning his cigarette around with his fingers, before finally lighting it. When he notices Louis’ discomfort he barks out a loud laugh.  
  
-You should really stop watching the Notebook again and again, bro, it makes you overdramatic. He’s been with Oli for a year, what did you expect? To get over him overnight? Be patient and stop bugging me…  
  
Nice friends you’ve got here, Louis, he thinks sarcastically to himself. But even though he and Zayn never show their love for each other and often act like they are annoyed by one another, it’s like an unspoken agreement; they know they care deeply for each other. Zayn is one of Louis oldest friend’s, they met at uni where they’re both studying English. At first they didn’t even like each other, but soon they became inseparable. After they finished their studies, Zayn started working at the coffee shop Harry worked at the time. Through him, Louis met his future flatmate and of course along with Harry came Niall and Liam; these three have always been a package deal. They’ve been through a lot of things, the five of them and Louis had fooled himself into thinking that it would always be like that, just them against the world. But then Zayn met Perrie, Liam got together with Danielle and later Sophia, Niall started dating a girl whose name Louis doesn’t remember anymore and Harry… Harry met Oliver, while Louis wasn’t even able to endure second dates. Now that he thinks about it, it all comes down to the fact that deep down he always though he would end up with Harry.  
  
-Easy for you to say it… I am still baffled that you won Perrie over.  
  
Zayn rolls his eyes and digs his phone out of his pocket, probably to text his girlfriend. That’s the thing with Zayn. He thinks he’s cool and badass, but deep down he’s actually very sensitive and also, incredibly whipped. Still cooler than Louis though, as he often likes to remind him.  
He actually feels the exact opposite of cool right now. He knows that he shouldn’t get that drunk, tomorrow he has been called for an audition for a small role in a very big production with many famous and accompliced actors. He’ll probably be so hangover that he’s gonna forget all his lines and he’ll have to improvise. And even though he has promised to himself in the past that he’ll start acting more professional in order to achieve his goals, it’s impossible for him to get Harry’s words out of his mind. So, he continues taking long sips of his drink, a cocktail that Zayn just invented and tastes like crap, but Louis doesn’t mind; he would drink anything without a question at this point.  
  
-I was just honest with her from the beginning. I liked her and she did too, so when I told her that, everything came to place. You should have spoken to him about your feeling earlier, mate.  
  
Louis feels a sudden discomfort and starts chewing on his bottom lip nervously, until he starts tasting blood. Zayn is looking at him narrowing his eyes that reflect his suspicions.  
  
-You didn’t tell him! he blurbs incredulously. And you’re seriously wondering why he didn’t fall into your arms immediately? You are seriously fucked up, man.  
  
Like Louis doesn’t already know; he has accepted it by now.  
  
-I couldn’t. I have never done anything like this before, it’s all new to me. And you know I can hardly handle rejection.  
  
The first time he didn’t get a call to go back after an audition, he was devastated, he didn’t exit the flat for three days. Every time he closed his eyes he used to see his father telling him that he’s not worth anything. After that he decided to never feel like that ever again.  
  
-You’ll end up missing things in life because of that fear, it’s not healthy anymore.  
  
Again stating the obvious, thank you Zayn. He closes his eyes trying to ease his tired mind and the only thing he sees is green, piercing eyes and red, sinful lips. He wishes he could turn a switch and never think about him again, but then how boring would his life be without the constant presence of Harry in his mind and in his flat?  
  
And that’s when he knows that he should do anything in his powers to keep this presence.  
  
This night Louis dreams about home.

\---  
When he wakes up, he feels like he hasn’t slept at all. His head is heavy on his shoulders, his bones ache and generally, he feels like he woke up twenty years older. He turns off the alarm grumpily and hops off the bed to get ready for his audition. For a moment he contemplates not going, but his agent would murder him if he didn’t turn up. She’s a very scary and cruel middle aged woman with bright red hair and a crooked nose and Louis isn’t going to challenge her. One time he arrived at her office thirty minutes late and in retaliation she booked him an audition for the shittiest play she could find.  
  
Arriving at the bathroom, he tries to tame his unruly fringe and rifles through Zayn’s stuff to find make- up. It’s not easy to cover up the purple bruises under his eyes who make a huge contrast with his pale skin and make him look like a zombie. That’s the effects of getting four hours of sleep each day for months.  
  
He searches around the house, but Zayn is long gone; the coffee shop where he works, opens at the wee hours of the morning, something cruel, if you ask Louis. When he enters the kitchen, he prays for breakfast, but of course no such luck. Only Harry makes him breakfast, pancakes, waffles or whatever Louis asks him to. He shakes his head to shove these thoughts out of his mind; it’s too early for this and he has an audition to smash.  
  
The audition actually goes really well, much to his surprise; the director showed a liking at him even though he looked like crap, with the ripped jeans and the bags under his eyes. She actually called him ‘a gorgeous young man’, so the chances that he gets the part are high.  
  
When he calls his agent to tell her the exciting news, she couldn’t be more uninterested. Her voice drips with sarcasm.  
  
-Good job, Tomlinson. Now call your boyfriend and leave me alone.  
  
She has been calling Harry Louis’ boyfriend since the day she met him and the green eyed boy tried to defend Louis’ honor when she insulted him. Of course ‘inconsiderable twat’ is actually sweet talk for the woman, but Harry didn’t know it back then.  
  
Normally calling his best friend would be the first thing he’d do, but Harry is probably home with his boyfriend enjoying their anniversary dinner. Maybe he’s already engaged by now and it‘s totally Louis fault.  
  
While he unlocks Zayn’s door with difficulty, he feels his phone vibrating in his back pocket. It would be safer not to look, but he can’t help it. When he unlocks the screen his fears are verified. It’s Harry and he probably wants to announce the engagement to him. Maybe he’s gonna send him a picture of the happy newly engaged couple with an idiotic caption that Harry thinks as clever and quirky. God, Louis loves him so so much.  
  
He turns off his phone and tosses it at the sofa far away from him, so that he won’t give up and check on it. He’s not trusting the strength of his will power nowadays.  
  
While looking around in his friend’s flat, which is even more untidy than his own, Louis really doesn’t know what to do with himself, but for sure he needs to keep himself preoccupied so that he can control his own mind.  
  
The Doncaster lad ends up in his bed tucked in one of Harry’s old sweaters that he claimed as his a long time ago, covered with his duvet and reading a book he found in Zayn’s room. The only one he could find in the whole house! He recognizes it as the one he bought for his friend a long time ago, when he didn’t know him that well yet. It’s untouched and Louis thinks that he should probably have a talk with the dark haired lad over this.  
  
He’s so focused on the novel that he doesn’t hear when keys fiddle with the lock and someone rushes in the flat. The voice of the intruder though brings him out of his trance.  
  
-Lou? Are you here?  
  
No, Louis can’t do this, he’s not emotionally prepared yet. He starts panicking and shaking his head, even though Harry can’t see him yet. But he can’t avoid the confrontation, not unless he hides under the bed or in the closet. That would actually be a good idea, he…  
  
-Louis?  
  
Harry’s voice breaks a little and causes his heart to melt. He can be strong for Harry’s sake.  
  
-In the guest room, he croaks out as he places the book on the nightstand.  
  
Louis brings his legs closer to his chest and sits there waiting for the inevitable. When Harry enters the room, he’s not like Louis expected him to be. He doesn’t seem over the moon, ‘oh I just got engaged’ happy and he most definitely doesn’t have a huge ass diamond ring on his ring finger. Instead he looks worn out, stressed and a bit annoyed.  
  
-Why the hell aren’t you answering your phone? I’ve been calling you all night. I was worried about you…  
  
That’s not exactly what Louis wanted to hear first from Harry after the events of the previous night, but at least it’s not the announcement of his engagement. It also satisfies him that immediately after his anniversary dinner, Harry went out to look for him. This has to mean something…  
  
-I turned it off when I came back from work, he shrugs trying and failing to act nonchalant.  
  
-How did the audition go?  
  
Louis sucks in a breath, he would never expect him to remember this.  
  
-It was ok, I guess…  
  
Harry’s intense stare makes him squirmy, he doesn’t know what to do with his limbs, so he clumsily embraces his feet with his hands. Harry’s fond expression and slight smile are nearly driving him insane.  
  
-You knew, didn’t you? That Oliver wanted to propose? He told me you knew for a week…  
  
And there it is. At the mention of the proposal, Louis body goes limp and his breath gets caught in his lungs. He doesn’t understand why did fucking Oliver reveal this to the younger boy, seriously what goes through this guy’s mind? But maybe it’s for the best that Harry found out and Louis doesn’t need to fake astonishment.  
  
-Is that why you decided to make a move on me? Because you didn’t want anyone else to have me? I should have known, you would never do something like that otherwise.  
  
Louis starts shaking his head vigorously, because no… Harry is totally wrong and he can’t let him believe any of this stuff. Oliver’s proposal might have been the trigger, a little push, but either way Louis would have made a move eventually. It was just a matter of time.  
  
-Are you just playing with me? Trying to mess with my mind? God, Lou, can’t you just…  
  
-What? Louis coughs to clear his voice.  
  
Once again the atmosphere in the room is full of tension, it’s suffocating him. Deep breaths, Louis, you can do it.  
  
-Can you just tell me what you want from me?  
  
Harry is hardly holding back his tears now, cheeks bright red and curls falling in front of his eyes. Louis wants to touch him and this time he does not hold back; he pats  
  
the bed beside him gesturing Harry to sit closer to him. The other boy hesitates a little, biting adorably his bottom lip, but eventually he gives in and crawls beside Louis. He probably doesn’t mean it to be done seductively, but at this moment a hot yearning rushes through Louis’ body for Harry to press him against the wall. How can he have this kind of thoughts about the boy and at the same time he wants to tuck him into the bed and take care of him forever, it’s beyond Louis. He guesses this is what love means.  
  
-I want everything that you can give me. And I’ll give you everything I have. Because…  
  
Harry scouts a little closer to him, so now their arms are brushing and their feet are slightly touching. It’s not like they have never been that close before, in fact Harry has this endearing habit of lancing himself onto Louis’ lap surprising him all the time, but now there’s another meaning behind their closeness. Of course Louis doesn’t object, especially when he feels Harry breathing hotly against his neck. It makes his hair rise and his toe curl, his heart beat speed dangerously. But he doesn’t let it affect him, he needs to get everything out of his chest.  
  
-I’m in love with you and I probably have been from the beginning. I’m sorry I didn’t realise it earlier, I was so scared of my feelings, of myself that I pushed you away. I just hope it’s not too late and…  
  
He doesn’t manage to say anything else; Harry’s plump lips are pressing against his, preventing him from talking. He yelps, not prepared for this reaction, but soon enough he gets his shit together and starts responding to the kiss. It’s nothing like their first one, rushed and needy, this time it’s sweet, slow and full of feelings and silent promises.  
  
They have been kissing like this for a while (Louis has lost track of time since he got home), when he feels Harry smiling against his lips.  
  
-What?  
  
When they part, he doesn’t move away, he opens his arms, so that the other boy can rest his head on him with his curls splayed all over his chest. He always liked running his hands through the luscious hair and Harry always seemed to enjoy it.  
  
-I told him no. It had never even crossed my mind that maybe one day I would marry him, you know. This relationship wasn’t meant to last this long, from the beginning it was just that; an attempt to get over you.  
  
He nuzzles into the older lad’s neck breathing him in deeply. They fit together perfectly like it always happens in those sappy love stories that Harry adores and Louis makes fun of. He moves his hand, so it’s enveloping Harry’s and yeah, they fit perfectly too. It makes him feel so small, the way that his own small, delicate hand is being completely covered by the other boy’s big one, but it also makes excitement rush through his body.  
  
And then Harry starts sucking kisses down his jaw and neck and every thought vanishes.  
  
-I’m glad you didn’t…  
  
Harry probably doesn’t remember what he’s talking about, but he doesn’t comment on it, he is currently sucking a love bite on Louis’ neck making him groan a little. He has never been with a man before, he had always been attracted to women before Harry appeared in his life and took it by storm. But right at this moment he doesn’t care, all he wants is the boy beside him. So he moves his hands on the back of the boy’s neck and brings him on top of him spreading his legs a little, in order for Harry to fit between them. The other boy doesn’t stop sucking and kissing and licking, while his hands move up and down Louis’ body making him shiver and whine a bit, his knuckles turning white where he’s gripping at the sheets. Normally he would feel embarrassed for being so aroused in such a short time, but Harry seems equally affected. His erection is rubbing against Louis’ thigh and his lips are now moving against his own with passion. But when the older boy moves his hand to his back and tries to get him of his shirt, Harry stills immediately. He closes his eyes taking deep breaths to calm himself and then shifts so that he’s no longer straddling Louis, but lying beside him with their limps interlocked.  
  
When he notices Louis’ pout, he giggles.  
  
-We have plenty of time, love. Do you really want your first time to be in Zayn’s house, while Oliver is at our flat packing his stuff? Besides, I wanna take you out on a date first.  
  
Louis nods, even though he doesn’t care about all this, he just wants Harry. But he’s so tired and he feels his eyelids dropping and the thought of sleeping and waking beside his favorite boy seems equally satisfying. Harry seems to agree, because he wraps his arms around Louis and kisses his forehead.  
  
-I love you, too, you know.  
  
And that’s the last thing Louis hears before falling asleep.

\---  
The first day after getting together is one of the best in Louis’ life. They stay locked in their flat (Oliver is long gone) for the whole day without answering their phones, enjoying each others company and well… body. It’s like a surreal experience that feels like a dream and Louis prays that he’ll never wake up. Harry finds a silly excuse so that he doesn’t have to turn up at work and Louis leaves an incoherent message at Zayn’s phone, so that he won’t search for him. They stay in bed all day cuddling and talking and giggling and kissing. That’s also the first time that Louis comes from Harry’s hand.  
  
The other boys find out about the new turn of their relationship the next day accidentally. They are all watching a horror movie in Liam’s living room, Louis and Harry sitting next to each other on the sofa, Louis’ head on Harry’s shoulder. This alone is a common occurrence, but when Louis moves a little and gives a little peck on Harry’s mouth forgetting for a moment that they’re not alone in the security of their flat, all the other boys stop watching the movie and gape at their two best friends. They take it lightly, not that Louis would expect something different from them. They all knew about Harry’s crush from the beginning, so this is not a huge shock for them. Niall especially seems delighted about the news.  
  
Zayn just winks at Louis and mutters ‘I told you so’.

\---  
Their first date takes place three days later. They are both quite nervous, especially Louis who isn’t used to this kind of things (he has actually zero experience), but Zayn showers him with advice, like he is a teenager going on his first date ever. He even chooses for him his outfit, black skinny jeans and a red top.  
  
The date goes great though and Louis really didn’t have a reason to worry. They already know each other so well, they even share their experiences from previous disastrous dates. Every time he makes Harry laugh with his ridiculous loud laugh, Louis feels his whole body fill with excitement and always fails to suppress the giddy feeling inside him.  
  
It’s not that different from the other times they had dinner together, it’s just that this time there’re more lingering touches and Louis doesn’t have to feel ashamed anymore when Harry catches him staring. It’s perfect, but Louis really wants to go back home. Harry’s foot is shamelessly touching his under the table and he’s looking at him with a playful glint in his eyes.  
  
-Maybe we should leave.  
  
He says that with a cheeky grin that makes Louis twist a little in his pants and for a second he forgets to answer. Once he’s recomposed himself, he nods trying not to look excessively eager.  
  
The ride home is super awkward, Harry sits as far away from Louis as he could, while the older lad tries not to look at him, or else they would never make it home. He keeps staring right ahead of him shoving all the not so innocent thoughts out of his mind. For now.  
  
He doesn’t even realise it when the taxi stops moving, but then a hand is grabbing his bicep and pulls him out of the parked car. He lets Harry guide him to the elevator and then to the door of their flat without a sound. He’s not used to being obedient, but at this point he would probably do whatever the other boy wanted.  
  
When they’re finally inside their flat, Harry turns abruptly to him and like he couldn’t wait any longer, he rushes to him wrapping his arms around Louis’ slim waist and presses their lips together.  
  
-I wanted to do this all night.  
  
Louis is still incapable of forming words, so he just hums and chases with his lips Harry’s full ones. He is pressed up against the wall having nowhere to go with Harry’s big form looming over him, his hands holding him in place and his tongue invading his mouth. Louis is certainly not complaining.  
  
This time when he moves his hands under the other boy’s shirt, Harry doesn’t stop him, instead he lets out a breathy moan and lowers his own hands so that they can rest on Louis’ bum causing a whimper out of the other boy.  
  
-Let’s take it to the bedroom…  
  
Louis follows him obediently damping his shoes on the floor and removing his top not wanting to waste any more time. He is a bit nervous, he’s never done anything like this before, but when his eyes meet Harry’s, his tense body relaxes immediately. He could trust this boy with his life.  
  
When they kiss, it’s tender, like Harry has sensed Louis’ discomfort and he wants to assure him that everything is gonna be ok. When he pulls him towards the bed, he’s smiling sweetly at him rubbing his thumb over Louis’ arm. He has taken off his shirt too and Louis is staring at him lying in front of him without even realising it, until the younger boy lets out a soft chuckle. His eyes are hooded and he’s breathing hard and Louis can’t resist anymore. He straddles him placing his legs on each side and kisses him again with much more urgency, while his hands are trying to get the boy lying in front of him out of his tight jeans, a very difficult task if you ask him. He manages though, even with his hands shaking and then proceeds to take his own clothes of. He is lying on top of the other boy, their erections rubbing against each other, hands roaming and hungry lips pressed together, quite moans breaking the silence of their flat.  
  
-Harry, I…  
  
He’s getting impatient, he just wants the other boy to do something. Harry surprises him wrapping his legs around his waist and flipping them over, so now he’s the one on top. He starts leaving soft kisses all over Louis’ chest, sucking on his nipples and then lowers his head so that he’s breathing right in front of Louis’ erection making the older boy whimper. Harry takes Louis' cock in his hands and gives it a few strokes looking up at Louis as if he’s asking for permission and grinning when he sees the impact he has on the older lad.  
When the tip is in Harry’s mouth, Louis can’t help but let out a loud moan bucking his hips upwards. He has been given blowjobs before, but this is Harry and everything he does is significant, like he does it for the first time. He watches the other boy as his red lips keep sliding up and down his cock and his fingers pumping the base, feeling the warmth and wetness of Harry’s mouth with his fists clenched on the sheets and his lips pressed into a thin line so he can stay quiet. However, when the curly haired boy pulls his mouth away and licks the underside, he lets out a breathy ‘Fuck’ whining a little when the other lads gets out of bed to reach for his jeans’ back pocket. When he climbs again up on the bed he places a little bottle of lube and a condom on the pillow next to Louis’ head.  
  
-Are you sure, love? We can wait if you’re not ready.  
  
The sincerity in his eyes would have moved Louis, if he wasn’t so desperate and horny. He grabs Harry by his curls to move him closer so that he can whisper hotly in his ear.  
  
-Shut up and get on with it, curly.  
  
Harry nods, his pupils blown with want and grabs the lube coating his long fingers. When he pushes the first one inside, Louis hisses and closes his eyes trying to adjust to the sting. It’s a bit uncomfortable, but he gestures Harry to continue moving letting out a groan when the finger inside him starts moving in and out.  
  
The second finger added gives him much pain, but even more pleasure. He feels himself shaking with desire while Harry starts scissoring his digits pushing them in and out faster now.  
  
-More, please.  
  
His voice sounds wrecked, but when the younger boy pushes in a third finger he forgets everything else and gives into the pleasure, writhing and moaning when Harry’s digits brush against his prostate.  
  
-Are you ready, baby?  
  
Harry seems equally affected by all this, his hand trembling when he withdraws his fingers and tries to put on the condom. This is exactly when realization hits Louis; he is going to have sex with a man for the first time. He doesn’t feel stressed anymore, especially when Harry leans and kisses his mouth, his jaw, his cheekbones.  
  
-Yes…  
  
That’s all that the other boy wanted to hear. He grabs Louis by the hips, hovering over him and pushing his tip over the other boy’s hole. He looks gorgeous like this, curls damp with sweat, cheeks bright red and eyes filled with desire. This image will haunt Louis forever.  
  
Harry pushes slowly himself the rest of the way in, until he’s bottomed out and then stops moving giving the older boy time to accustom to the feeling all the while he leaves a soft trail of kisses on Louis’ neck and rubs his thighs. Louis takes some deep breaths clenching and unclenching around the other boy’s length, pre- cum pooling on his tummy.  
  
-You are so beautiful, baby, Harry says while moving the other boy’s hair out of his face.  
  
-Harry, move, please.  
  
Harry complies immediately pulling himself out of Louis’ heat and then thrusting back in, causing Louis to keen out. He has never been so full, so close to another person and this knowledge sends shivers all over his naked body. Harry starts moving in and out slowly, still reluctant not to hurt his lover.  
  
-How does it feel, Lou?  
  
-Amazing… Keep moving, baby…  
  
He gasped when Harry shoved up into him a bit harder finding the bulge of nerves deep inside of him and making him see white. His nails are digging into Harry’s back, legs wrapped around his waist, while Harry rests his forehead against Louis’ neck. His cock is rubbing against the other lad’s stomach every time he thrusts hard into his tight heat and fingers are probably leaving bruises on his hips.  
  
Harry speeds up his movements even more, causing small whipers to leave Louis’ bitten lips, heat coiling up in his stomach.  
  
-Harry, I’m close.  
  
The other boy starts pumping his lenght in time with his sloppy thrusts, chasing release for the both of them, Louis’ moans louder than before.  
  
-Come for me, baby.  
  
Louis’ vision goes blank, head thrown back, Harry’s name on his lips, while shots of cum find their way on his chest and stomach. After that his body goes limp, letting Harry chase his own release.  
  
One minute later Harry groans and comes deep into him filling the condom.  
  
After they ride out their highs, Harry slides out of Louis, taking off the condom and causing a whimper out of the older lad and wraps his arms around of the small body.  
  
They are both smiling and Louis moves even closer to the other boy not caring about the sweat on their bodies and rests his head on Harry’s chest listening to his heartbeat. He feels that he could listen to that sound forever. Harry runs his fingers through his hair and leaves a soft peck on his forehead.  
  
-I love you so fucking much.  
  
It’s not the first time he tells him that (and certainly not the last), but it makes Louis’ heartbeat pick up in speed.  
  
-I love you, too, baby.  
  
And it’s nice. Having someone in your life that loves you and takes care of you no matter what. Louis smiles to himself and nuzzles into Harry’s neck closing his eyes.

\---  
The next morning he wakes up with Harry’s body wrapped around him, his hot breath tickling his neck and their fingers interlocked. He closes his eyes again wanting to savor the moment and falls asleep again with an irrational satisfaction creeping inside him.

**Author's Note:**

> The title is inspired by the song 'Lotus Flower' by Radiohead and is pretty irrelevant.
> 
> You can find me on tumblr [here](http://tied-upliketwoships.tumblr.com/)


End file.
